It has been quite sometime since I've had a place to share my thoughts and ideas. And indeed many changes have occurred in my life since I have had a blog, journal, etc. Some of these changes have been difficult to push through and some of them have been rewarding in unimaginable ways. But not just my life has changed, but the way I look at it as well. I feel that previously I lived my life solely for the benefit of others. And had to experience my own appreciation of life through them. It became clear that living for myself was something I need to push for and appreciate. Living was not something I should casually accept. And that there is a difference between being driven and being driven to live. I think people confuse the two.
live;to experience or enjoy life to the full:At 40 she was just beginning to live.
I made a decision awhile ago that when I came across something I wanted in my life, that I would be forward and direct in achieving it, that I would put my all into it. In many ways I do know that being that way can lead to pain and hardships...it can be likened to jumping off a cliff. The view will be spectacular, the experience amazing, but if you don't have a way to glide to safety you are risking it all for just a single final moment. But I know now...that the moment would be amazing. And it is worth it. Now of course I don't recommend jumping off a cliff and I can assure you I wouldn't. (at least not without a parachute or similar device)
Now it is true that to an extent I have always been this way. I have always been passionate about love, romance, family, friends etc. But I think I looked at life differently. I was more driven to work for money than to spend the money, to make others happy, to learn than to experience, etc. People need a balance to really live. Sure it is great to read about Italy, but it is even better to be IN Italy, to walk the streets of Rome and float alongside the buildings of Venice. I long to experience those things. I know I will stare wide-eyed and very tourist-like at the amazing architecture, landscapes and art in Italy. I can see the pictures of me now.
The world should know that two months and three days ago I met an amazing woman. I think she will attest that I was very direct in my "courting" of her. I would have been crazy to not be. We have done so many things together since that fateful day. And it is difficult to imagine her not being a part of my life now. As of this moment my mind pictures her in a lifetime of experiences with me. And I hope that all the dreams I have will include her. She is my equal in so many ways and a near mirror image. And while I am driven to live on my own, I am even more driven to experience life with her. She is someone that I know will walk alongside me, and cares as much for my happiness as I do about hers. Something that until now has been a rare occurence in my life. I don't know how serious we will end up, for now I'm just enjoying what I can and hopeful for the future.....whatever it may be.
The world should know that two months and three days ago I met an amazing woman. I think she will attest that I was very direct in my "courting" of her. I would have been crazy to not be. We have done so many things together since that fateful day. And it is difficult to imagine her not being a part of my life now. As of this moment my mind pictures her in a lifetime of experiences with me. And I hope that all the dreams I have will include her. She is my equal in so many ways and a near mirror image. And while I am driven to live on my own, I am even more driven to experience life with her. She is someone that I know will walk alongside me, and cares as much for my happiness as I do about hers. Something that until now has been a rare occurence in my life. I don't know how serious we will end up, for now I'm just enjoying what I can and hopeful for the future.....whatever it may be.
